Moral issues

I can't wait to get my hands on Sen Lin. But a little part of me thinks that this adoption process is wrong on so many levels.

I feel so bad that we are taking Sen Lin out of his home. I can't imagine his confusion and turmoil from being adopted by us.

Why don't Chinese foster families adopt the children they are fostering? If I had Sen Lin for 2 years, I wouldn't want to give him up to some unknown family half way around the world.

I hope he can forgive us and that he will eventually be happy and learn to love us.

Sometimes I hate this.

I want to write in a blog but I also feel it is a waste of my time and internet space.
While it is nice to get my thoughts out, I don't necessarily want to read it again.

I wish I could take a nap. I am hanging out in May's room while she is not napping.
I am hoping that my presence will keep her from getting too wound up and she will eventually fall asleep from boredom.

My luck hasn't been very good so far.

My back hurts, this rocking chair is uncomfortable and I really need a drink. Enough whining for now. Bye.

Potential travel dates

I know that our travel dates are a few weeks away from being confirmed but it is so exciting that Holt thinks we will be going to China mid to late May. That is wonderful and frightening all at the same time.

For such a long time our adoption was on hold and now I feel like I don't have enough time to get everything done.

I am currently on the phone with American Airlines to find out the best use of our airline miles. We hope to get at least business class seats.

Only brain dead came to mind as a title.

So, I created this blog b/c my other blog was under my hotmail account and it was too much effort to switch it over since I am always in gmail now. It automatically logs me out of my gmail email when I login into Blogger under my hotmail acct. Which was very annoying.

This is really only for me, some place where I can bitch and moan and no one has to know. I will share this with Lauren D. b/c she inspired me to get blogging again from our recent conversation.

I must say I hate shit like this myspace, blogs, facebook, twitter... just another way for people to be egocentric. Myself included. But I am going to use it as therapy, so I don't wind up as an alcoholic or on the front page news b/c I killed my husband and child in a fit of insanity b/c the peanut jar was left open.

I had to go yell at May for the 3rd time to go to sleep. She stopped napping recently. I don't mind her playing in bed but she has gotten out of her bed a lot this afternoon. I am not sure why she doesn't want to sleep or can't but I am not ready to stop trying to get her to nap.

Something weird is going on b/c she woke up every 2-3 hours last night. It was pretty painful for everyone except the dog, he sleeps through everything unless food is involved. We tried to make her as comfortable as possible. We tried all the usual tricks to get her to sleep. I even let her cry herself to sleep once around midnight.

This kid should be exhausted. I know I am. I hope it is just a phase.